confessions.

I've kissed four guys in my lifetime, multiple times. Tyler McIntyre, Justin Fulton, Erik Robbins and Russell Elliott are their names. I'm only going to write down our first kiss.

The first one, with Tyler, was because I desperately wanted to have my first kiss. I was fourteen, in ninth grade, and we kissed in the gym of South Hills Middle School after school got out. Later, I found out that he had a girlfriend and had been cheating on her with me.

The second one, Justin, was because I felt bad for the kid. He was such a nice guy, but he never had a girlfriend, and so I agreed to be his. I was sixteen, and we drove up to my unfinished house after a stake dance and shared a kiss. I broke up with him a month after that.

The third was Erik, and our first kiss happened on our second date. I was seventeen, and it was in the front room of my old house. I dropped my camera. He was the most serious boyfriend I've ever had so far in my life. We dated off and on for almost a year. I thought it was love.

The final one, Russell, happened in his driveway after a fun night together. I was eightteen, and he was my boyfriend for nine days. As The Maine says in their song The Town's Been Talkin' I was "in love with love, not in love with him." I realized that, and prayed about it, and broke up before it got any further. He was such a sweetheart about it.

That was in April of 2008, and I haven't kissed anyone since. I decided, and made a promise to myself, that I wouldn't kiss anyone until I had a boyfriend, who I was really serious with. The For Strength of Youth pamphlet has a lot of great guidelines to go off of, and that's what my promise to myself is based on. When I'm ready to get married, I don't want to tell my husband that I've kissed four other guys. I don't want to tell him that I've kissed more than four, and that's why I made this promise. Kisses are a special thing, and they should be treated as such.

I've actually got a man in mind who I want to share my next kiss with. A few people know about him, but a lot don't. I've watched him and noticed how he lives his life for the past nine months, and he is the man I want to be with. Nothing is more motivating than a peaceful feeling about someone. My heart is set, and I know what I want, and it just happens to be him.

I'm so glad that I made the promise to myself and the decision to keep my standards so when that first kiss does come, it will be well worth it.