my music.

Over the years, the music I listen to has changed a lot. My first CD was N*SYNC - No Strings Attached. I listened to them a lot. Then I started getting really (and I mean really) into Jericho Road, an LDS pop boy band. I was in love with them, and I listened to them for years, and still listen to them today. It was an odd switch, but after my Jericho Road obsession wore off, I started listening to "I hate my life" bands. Namely, Simple Plan and anything that screamed. That was when I was an early teenager, and I had a depression problem. Luckily, I grew out of that a few years later, and started listening to alternative rock. A while later, this present day, I am still into alternative, but I really love acoustic. My favorite artist of all time is Allred, who is an acoustic artist. I find it funny how I went from church music, to screamo, to slow, mellow stuff.

So here's a list of all the music I have on my ipod. This will be fun to look back on in a few years and see how much my taste in music has changed.

• Acceptance
• Alert the Press
• Alkaline Trio
• The All-American Rejects
• All Time Low
• Allred
• The Almost
• Alone and Legendary
• Amber Pacific
• Analee's Dream
• Anberlin
• Angels & Airwaves
• April Meservy
• The Aquabats
• Artist Vs. Poet
• The Ataris
• Augustana
• B0unc3
• Backseat Goodbye
• Band of Horses
• The Beach Boys
• The Beatles
• Ben's Brother
• Ben Folds
• Ben Jelen
• Ben Truman
• Between the Trees
• Bowling for Soup
• Boys Like Girls
• The Bravery
• Breaking Point
• Brian Rhodes
• Brighten
• Buddy Holly
• Carly Simon
• Cartel
• Chad Neth
• Chiodos
• Chris Brown
• Circa Survive
• The Click Five
• Coldplay
• Cute Is What We Aim For
• Dan Cahoon
• Daniel Beck
• Dashboard Confessional
• Daughtry
• David Archuleta
• David Osmond
• A Day To Remember
• Deathcab For Cutie
• Dr. Evil & Mini Me
• Dream Balloons
• Driving East
• Dropout Year
• The Early November
• Emery
• Enrique Iglesias
• Europe
• Eve 6
• Everclear
• Every Avenue
• The Excitement
• Fall Out Boy
• Farewell
• Felicia Wolfe
• Flyleaf
• FM Static
• Fourty Foot Echo
• Fourteen Days From Forever
• Franz Ferdinand
• The Fray
• Freddie Ashby
• Goo Goo Dolls
• Good Charlotte
• Graham Colton
• Green Day
• Greg Simpson
• Hawk Nelson
• Hawthorne Heights
• Hellogoodbye
• Hidden in Plain View
• Hilary Weeks
• Hinder
• Hollywood Lies
• Honor Bright
• The Hoosiers
• Incubus
• Ingrid Michaelson
• Ivoryline
• James Belliston
• James Blunt
• Jason Mraz
• Jenny Frogley
• Jenny Phillips
• Jericho Road
• Jessie Clark Funk
• Jet Lag Gemini
• Jimmy Eat World
• The Jonas Brothers
• Josh Wilsher
• Josiah Leming
• Just Surrender
• The JV All*Star
• Karrigan
• Keane
• The Killers
• Kimya Dawson
• Kirby Heyborne
• Kurt Bestor
• The Last Goodnight
• Last Winter
• Leona Lewis
• The Less
• Less Than Three
• Lifehouse
• Lights
• Linkin Park
• LMNT
• Lostprophets
• Love You Long Time
• Mae
• The Maine
• Maren Ord
• Maroon 5
• Matchbook Romance
• Matt Nathanson
• Mayday Parade
• McFly
• Meg & Dia
• Megan Flinders
• Metro Station
• Michael McLean
• Mika
• Mindy Gledhill
• Minimum Serious
• The Moldy Peaches
• The Monkies
• The Morning Light
• Motion City Soundtrack
• Muse
• Number One Gun
• OAR
• OK Go
• OneRepublic
• Our Lady Peace
• Papa Roach
• Paramore
• Phone Calls From Home
• Plain White T's
• Queen
• Quietdirve
• Rachel Thibodeau
• Ray Carter
• The Real You
• Red Hot Chili Peppers
• Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
• Regina Spektor
• Relient K
• Ricky Martin
• Rise Against
• The Rise of Science
• Rock Kills Kid
• Rufio
• Ryan Cabrera
• Ryan Shupe & The Rubber Bands
• Saliva
• Sanctus Real
• Saosin
• Say Anything
• The Scene Aesthetic
• Sea Wolf
• Secondhand Serenade
• The Secret Handshake
• Seether
• Senses Fail
• Shane
• Sherwood
• Shooter
• Seilverstein
• Simon & Garfunkel
• Sittser
• Smashing Pumpkins
• Smile Empty Soul
• Snow Patrol
• Sons of Provo
• Sparta
• The Spice Girls
• Spill Canvas
• The Starting Line
• Story of the Year
• Straylight Run
• The String Quartet
• Striving for Better
• Sugarcult
• Sum 41
• The Summer Set
• The Sunstreak
• SweetHaven
• Switchfoot
• Taking Back Sunday
• Teddy Geiger
• Terry White
• Third Eye Blind
• Three Doors Down
• Tim Gates
• Time and Difference
• Trapt
• Twisted Sisters
• The Used
• Used Kids
• Valencia
• Vega4
• Vertical Horizon
• We Are Scientists
• We Shot the Moon
• We the Kings
• Weezer
• Wild Cherry
• Yellowcard

this song.

Whenever I'm feeling down about myself, or whenever I feel like I'm being tempted to do something wrong, and like I'm not strong enough, this song always pulls me through, and reminds me of who I am and why I'm here. It reminds me that I CAN.

I was first introduced to it at EFY last year. The session director wanted all the girls in the whole session to get up and sing it for the boys at the testimony fireside. When I sung it, I didn't know the words, so I was lip syncing almost the whole time. But after EFY, I came home and found the song, and I've learned the words, and it's now what I live by.

It amazes me how much church songs have an effect on me. The spirit they bring is incredible. In all honesty, I could listen to church songs for the rest of my life, and never get sick of them. What a wonderful gift.

"Beautiful to Him" by Rachel Thibodeau
So much noise, so much peace destroyed
I can hardly hear the voice leading me through the void
So much noise, the world's little lies
Destruction in disguise
Opportunities to compromise
To make me beautiful in their eyes
But I'm not gonna buy the world's little lies

'Cause I define myself and find my beauty in the light He gives
I'm refined by His divine intentions everyday I live
It doesn't matter what the world believes
Or what they say that beauty means
It comes from within, I want to be beautiful to Him

He's given me His trust, so I'll be strong enough
To run from a dangerous touch
I don't need that kind of love
I don't need that crutch
He's given me His trust

I define myself and find my beauty in the light He gives
I'm refined by His divine intentions everyday I live
It doesn't matter what the world believes
Or what they say that beauty means
It comes from within, I want to be beautiful to Him

I know how to shine
My life's not really mine
It's not about a worldly climb
It's all about His design
So in His eyes, I wanna shine

I define myself and find my beauty in the light He gives
I'm refined by His divine intentions everyday I live
It doesn't matter what the world believes
Or what they say that beauty means
It comes from within, I want to be beautiful to Him

I want to live to have His peace
And feel the holiness He sees
It comes from within, I want to be beautiful to Him

twenty-five.

Originally a facebook note. I stole the idea. Twenty-five things about me...

1. I am wearing my yellow/orange chucks today. They are the only shoes that I wear that aren't flatts or sandals.
2. My favorite teachers, in order, are as follows: Anderson, Davidson, Erickson, Dean, Winkler. Oh Winkler...
3. I decided on my favorite musician. It's Allred.
4. My favorite band: The Maine. But I like Allred more.
5. I'm beginning to like different genres than I would normally listen to, and I'm happy about it.
6. He comes home in about eight months, and I can't hardly wait.
7. I am being tested on my faithfulness right now, and it's hard, but I know I can do it, and I'm getting through with the Lord's help.
8. In the past twelve months, I have completely changed my life and my outlook on life for the better, and I can see what a difference it is making, and I'm happier now.
9. I'm sick of having hot married guys in my classes. I thought hot guys who had a girlfriend in high school were too much to bear...
10. I went to temple sqaure last night with a few friends, and felt the spirit. Every time I see the Salt Lake Temple, I get more and more excited about getting married there. It was much needed.
11. My history class and my institute class have really opened my eyes to what the world is becoming, and I decided to save as much money as I possibly can.
12. The church is true, and I'm glad I know that.
13. I wear bright colors, even on cold, cloudy days.
14. Even though most of my friends live far away, and I don't get to see them that often, they're still the best friends in the world, and I love them.
15. Best thing I've heard someone say all month: "If a guy appreciates your worth, he's worth it." from Sarah Anderson.
16. I'm taking action of my life by waiting patiently.
17. My standards are important to me. Very important.
18. Everett rules.
19. I'm getting braces on my bottom teeth on February fourth.
20. It's long, but I actually love the drive down to school.
21. I tied for third place in last week's photo contest.
22. I can't wait to move out with Celeste and Erica. I'm going out of my mind.
23. I trust my Heavenly Father to make my life wonderful. But I know I need to follow the promptings of the spirit in order to have it be wonderful.
24. I need to write a note to someone.
25. History class is starting in a few minutes.

my mom's knees tell a tale.

My mom has this super power.

She claims her knees start to hurt if a storm is coming.

This morning she predicted a storm.

I didn't believe her.

Guess what. There's a storm outside.

confessions.

I've kissed four guys in my lifetime, multiple times. Tyler McIntyre, Justin Fulton, Erik Robbins and Russell Elliott are their names. I'm only going to write down our first kiss.

The first one, with Tyler, was because I desperately wanted to have my first kiss. I was fourteen, in ninth grade, and we kissed in the gym of South Hills Middle School after school got out. Later, I found out that he had a girlfriend and had been cheating on her with me.

The second one, Justin, was because I felt bad for the kid. He was such a nice guy, but he never had a girlfriend, and so I agreed to be his. I was sixteen, and we drove up to my unfinished house after a stake dance and shared a kiss. I broke up with him a month after that.

The third was Erik, and our first kiss happened on our second date. I was seventeen, and it was in the front room of my old house. I dropped my camera. He was the most serious boyfriend I've ever had so far in my life. We dated off and on for almost a year. I thought it was love.

The final one, Russell, happened in his driveway after a fun night together. I was eightteen, and he was my boyfriend for nine days. As The Maine says in their song The Town's Been Talkin' I was "in love with love, not in love with him." I realized that, and prayed about it, and broke up before it got any further. He was such a sweetheart about it.

That was in April of 2008, and I haven't kissed anyone since. I decided, and made a promise to myself, that I wouldn't kiss anyone until I had a boyfriend, who I was really serious with. The For Strength of Youth pamphlet has a lot of great guidelines to go off of, and that's what my promise to myself is based on. When I'm ready to get married, I don't want to tell my husband that I've kissed four other guys. I don't want to tell him that I've kissed more than four, and that's why I made this promise. Kisses are a special thing, and they should be treated as such.

I've actually got a man in mind who I want to share my next kiss with. A few people know about him, but a lot don't. I've watched him and noticed how he lives his life for the past nine months, and he is the man I want to be with. Nothing is more motivating than a peaceful feeling about someone. My heart is set, and I know what I want, and it just happens to be him.

I'm so glad that I made the promise to myself and the decision to keep my standards so when that first kiss does come, it will be well worth it.

craving.

As I finished my second homework assignment for math class, I felt like taking a break and eating something. Then, I realized I eat so much, and a lot of it isn't very good for me. So I decided that if I was going to eat something, it was going to be healthy. So I looked in the fridge, thinking I was going to go for an apple or a pear, but then I saw the bag of salad. That's it! I thought, I'll have a salad! But it won't be just any regular salad. It will be the greatest saladic creation of all generations! And I went to town.

You see, I visited Las Vegas with my family last month, and we went to a buffet at the Mandalay Bay Hotel, which was called Craving. They have this section just for salads and salad loving people. There, you can tell the salad maker what kind of salald you want, along with what kind of mix-ins and dressing, and they'll put it in for you, and mix it all up, so there are no bare spots. Never in my life have I had such an amazing salad. So today, I decided to make my own.

As I searched the cupboards, fridge and pantry, I came across some ham, croutons, and ranch dressing. I cut up the ham slices into little bite-sized pieces, and threw them into the bowl that held the salad. Then I threw a handful of croutons in, too, and I mixed like I've never mixed before!

When I was done, I ended up with something like this:

As I ate, my tastebuds danced around my tongue due to the wonderful fushion. I was in heaven. HAHA.

dying to get out.

Lately I've been dying to go do stuff with my friends. Anything. But it seems that either I'm too busy with school, work or homework, or my friends are too busy with whatever they have going on. Or it could be that most of my friends live very far away. Like Celeste, for example. If it wasn't for the four or five hours if driving time, there would be no stopping us! And Emily. She lives about two hours away, which is no fun at all because she was my one and only concert buddy. Not one of my friends (that lives close) enjoys the rush of concerts like she does. We share that, and it's a good thing.

All this brings out my excitement to move out with Celeste and Erica in August of this year. It will be SO nice to have a couple of friends who live close enough to do fun activities with. (one will live in the same bedroom as me, and one will live across the hall) Until that time comes, I'll probably be bored out of my mind. But, the day we all move out together, all the fun times will begin, and I will actually have a social life!

My list of things to do when I move out with these girls:

1. Have a Girls' Night Out every month.
2. Make a few videos.
3. Knock on a cute guy's door, and ask him if you can borrow a cup of sugar.
4. Bake desserts for cute guys, so we'll have a good bargain position for a date.
5. Go to concerts! Allred, Love You Long Time, The Maine, anything!
6. Two words: Space Mission.
7. Go on a scavenger hunt!
8. Party.
9. Date, date, date, date, date.
10. Build a fort. A really big fort.
11. Go on photo shoots.

That's all I have so far. I'm excited to see what Celeste and Erica have. We'll have a huge, long list by the time we put all of ours together. This shall be a blast...

childhood friend.

Tonight at work, I went to the Rise building with my kid, where we met up with more staff and kids, and we all played games. We call it Game Night, and it's held every Friday night. It's a blast.

My old neighbor who's about a year older than me just got a joob working at Rise, and he was there with his kid. His name is Andrew. We were childhood friends, because we lived right next to eachother for fourteen years. I remember riding his horses with him when we were little, and playing with his toy trucks in the sandbox. Those were the good ol' days. When we both started to hit puberty, we started to hate each other for some reason. Don't ask me why, but we did. We were so mean to each other, and we wanted nothing to do with the other person. We've never really talked much since then. We just weren't friends anymore. Then, almost two years ago I moved, and I haven't seen him since. But tonight, I recognized him, and I decided to say hi! So I did! And he said it right back, and he was nice about it! I think that the fact that we both grew up a little had a huge role in that.

Throughout the night, we'd play games, and talk once in a while. I noticed that he was looking at me a lot. And it might be that the reason I caught that, is that I was looking at him a lot, too. He's turned into a handsome young man, and I've heard that he's going on a mission really soon. He's done a lot of changing in the past few years, and I admire him for it. He's a great guy.

I know what you're thinking. "Oooh! Megan has a crush on Andrew!" but that's not the case. I think he's awesome, and that's about it. Yeah, he's gotten cute over the years, but honestly, I can't see us going out, or anything of that sort. He's just a cool guy; maybe even a friend in the future, but that's it.

Now you're thinking, "If it's not that big of a deal, why are you writing about it?" The answer is this: I write about my life on this blog. Things I want to remember. For me, for my future.

It's as simple as that.

guys' style.

In my free time at school, in between classes, I've noticed that I've been spending a lot of my time sitting in a hallway, in a chair, or on the ground, watching people pass by, and looking at their clothes and their sense of style. I rather enjoy it, because it gives me ideas of how to wear my clothes, and I really like looking at how well some guys dress themselves (and how horrible others do). I find myself thinking to myself I would totally date a guy who dressed like that and I hope my future boyfriend has that type of style. I wanted to to make a record of what style I really love on guys, and what style I find unattractive on guys, too, just in case my future boyfriend ever finds this blog, and wants to know what I'd like him to dress like, haha. I'm going off of what I see guys dress like today.

Do's:

• beanies. (worn on top of head, and on back)
• baseball caps. (worn sideways on occasion)
• paperboy hats.
• beanies with ear flaps.
• man headbands.
• same hair length all around their head. (spiked or fohawked)
• indie glasses.
• sunglasses. (aviators or big lensed)
• clean cut faces. (beards and mustaches = gross)
• necklaces. (dog tags and peace signs are a personal favorite)
• ctr rings. :)
• v-neck shirts.
• collared, button down shirts. (plaid, pin stripes, short and long sleeved)
• cardigans.
• sweaters. (striped, argyle, whatevs)
• collared, button down shirt + sweater.
• bold print and striped jackets.
• baseball tees.
• band tees.
• peacoats.
• blazers.
• suit jackets. (worn with casual tee and jeans)
• tuxedo vests. (worn with casual v-neck or collared, button down shirt or band tee)
• old man vests.
• sweater vests. (worn with collared shirt, or not)
• man scarves. (as ismael would say)
• ties. (worn with collared, button down shirts)
• suspenders. (worn with church attire)
• not-too-loose, not-too-tight jeans. (levi's brand is the way to go)
• corduroy pants.
• dress pants. (worn with collared, button down shirt and maybe even a tie)
• tan, white, plaid or jean shorts. (occasionally worn with long tube socks and vans eras)
• belts.
• gray or black jeans.
• brightly colored pants. (can you say love you long time?)
• man capris. (cut off)
• jeans rolled up to floods. (best of worn with vans eras)
• colored, patterned socks. (striped, argyle)
• vans eras.
• vans slip-ons.
• low-top chucks. (converse)
• moccasins. (colored and plain)
• flip flops.
• sketchers.
• fag bags. (messenger bags)
• the color purple.

Don'ts:

• longer hair than your girlfriend.
• dreadlocks.
• beards, mustaches.
• unruly eyebrows.
• make up. (that's your girlfriend's job, just for funsies)
• nerd glasses.
• tees with store name on them.
• tees from a souvineer shop.
• button down shirts with the top few buttons unbuttoned. (only first, please.)
• hoodies with words on them.
• "how to" shirts.
• belly shirts. (i like them long enough so i don't have to look at your undies)
• polos. (the only exception is volcom polos)
• any kind of pants that are too loose.
• any kind of pants that are too tight. (skinny jeans: out, straight jeans: in)
• pants worn above the butt. (sorry, but you need to sag them just a little)
• pants worn below the half-butt mark. (perfect height: 3/4 up the butt)
• real floods. (if you're going to wear them, roll them up so it looks like you did it on purpose)
• flared pants. (*shutters*)
• any kind of pants that are too long that you have to roll them up for them to fit you well.
• gansta pants. (graffiti on your pants? no)
• gym shorts. (save them for when you're working out.)
• pajama pants. (are for sleeping)
• running shoes. (see gym shorts)
• skater shoes. (that should be a crime)
• tan rapper boots.
• fake chucks.
• girl uggs.

I've come to the conclusion that I want a boyfriend who would wear church attire to school just because he feels like it. First, it would convey his sense of style, which is totally attractive, and second, dressed up men show a lot of class, which is also very attractive.

Also, I didn't put this on a list because I wasn't sure which one to put it under, but I would love a guy who would wear booty shorts as a joke, just to be funny. Or even as a bet. Maybe a run around the block in them? Yeah, that would be my future boyfriend.

And one more thing, a guy who lets their girlfriend do their hair and nails and make-up every now and then shows pure guts. I want a boyfriend like that. Plus, it's fun!

Oh, future boyfriend, where art thou?

a date, planned nine months in advance.

Okay, so the title of this post totally sounds like I'm pregnant or something, but I can assure you that I am not! The date is not a due date; it is an actual night out with a guy! That is, if he accepts. I haven't asked him yet.

The guy's name is Kody. The date is planned for Halloween night, this year. That's right! We're going trick-or-treating! Daniel and I have it all planned out. He'll bring a date, and I'll bring one, too. We'll start off the night by meeting somewhere in Herriman, so we can go right into trick-or-treating. When we're finished with that, we plan to go back to my parents' house (for I will be living in Orem by this time) where my mom will have a scrumptious dinner, that she prepared, waiting for us. The moment we finish dinner, we will go downstairs into the theater and watch a movie. Maybe a scary one, maybe a comedy; who knows? We'll probably decide that night. When the movie is over, we might talk a little. Or, maybe, if we're really tired, we'll all go home. It will be splendid. Daniel has always had the best Halloween costumes, so I'm really excited to see what he comes up with. We were talking about both of us being the Wonder Twins. We'll see how it goes.

About Kody... I think I might've already brought him up in this blog. He's on a mission right now in Michigan. He gets home sometime in October, and so does Daniel. You see, they met each other in the MTC. Before Daniel went on his mission, I told him to hook me up with all the missionaries' addresses that he thought I'd like. So he sent me Kody's address, and I've been writing him for about a year now. He's such a great guy; I can really tell that he's serious about his missionary work, and he's having a lot of great success because he's so faithful out there. We've talked about it, and when he comes home, we've decided to skank to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (haha, inside joke) and we also decided to watch A Troll in Central Park together. I'm really looking forward to his arrival. I think he's an amazing person, and a wonderful friend.

As for Daniel getting home, I'm really excited about that, too. Before he left, I walked in on him in his bedroom, dancing to classical music in his boxers. I asked what he was doing, and he said it was his Queen of Sheba dance, and he made up some rambling sentance about the Queen of Sheba. We've joked about it since then, and when he comes home, we've planned to go buy him either some whitey-tighties or some Batman underwear, and reinact the Queen of Sheba dance, and post it up on youtube. We've even talked about him doing it on our first double date, just to make it even more awkward. We'll see how that one goes. We've really come up with the most lame plans together. The most lame, but the most awesome, too. That's for sure.

So, Kody's next letter should come any day now, and when I get it, I'll ask him on a date... through a letter. Hopefully he doesn't think that's lame. What am I supposed to do? Call him? And hopefully he doesn't think it's lame that Daniel and I have planned this date months in advance. I'm hoping that, in the two weeks he was with Daniel in the MTC, he's realized that our family is just a little weird, and hopefully he's come to embrace that.

I'll definately let you know how this one goes.

full moon.

Tonight I went to my brother, Matt's house for dinner because he graduated from BYU a few weeks ago. It was delightful. We had chicken cordon bleu, cake and ice cream and we played games! We even had a good laugh when Matt got out his laser pen and the dogs started to chase it on the wood floor, sliding all over the place.

When we got home, it was about 9:30 and it was pretty light outside. I mean, it was still dark, but you could definately see more because the moon was so full and bright. It was pretty.

I decided that, when I have a boyfriend, we're going to dance under the full moon, to no music. Yes.

experiment.

That's right. I'm doing an experiment, and my sisters are the rats. Lately Rachel and Sara have been huge jerks to me, and it's making me feel bad about myself, to be honest.

If anybody knows me really well, they know that I'm totally whack, and down right weird sometimes. It's not that I'm immature. I'm just not up tight about a lot of things, and I like to have fun. And, to face the facts, I'm still growing up. I just barely turned into an adult about 9 months ago, and I've still got a lot of learning to do. I'm definately not going to act as mature as someone who is in their early 20's, or 30's. They've experienced more things in life that I have.

I guess the point I'm trying to get across is that I'm not immature. I definately don't act as childish as I did about a year ago. But Sara and Rachel are being really rude to me lately, saying that I'm really immature, and that I should act like an adult. They think that just because I'm in college I need to dress up in a suit with my hair pulled back in a bun, arms folded, giving dirty looks to everyone who makes me mad. Well, even when I'm 50 years old I won't act like that, because I just like to have fun. And sometimes, I like to let loose after a long, ten hour day at school and work. Call me crazy, but that's what keeps me sane. Personal dance parties, sing-alongs, and sometimes even hand puppets are a way for me to get it all out. It's either that, or I yell at everyone and display my PMS big time.

So, this is what I shall do: For one week, starting tomorrow, I will act really mature (well, Rachel's and Sara's description of it). I will strictly ban all fun, and pull out my dirty looks, and maybe even a little PMS out on them. When they try to joke around with me, I'll look at them with a look that says Why are you bringing this up, you immature little highschooler. Don't you know I'm in college? I don't have time for this. Maybe I'll even ignore them a few times, just to see what they do. They want a mature big sister? They got it.

Maybe by the end of this week they'll appreciate me for who I am.

last day, first day.

Yesterday was the last day of Christmas break, and today was the first day of school for this new semester! I think I need to party or something.

My first day of school was really interesting. It started out not good at all. Really. But then it got better and better and it ended up being a great day. Here's what happened...

I started the day with leaving late, because I couldn't find a water bottle anywhere in the house, and I knew it was going to be one of those days where I was going to be really thirsty. After searching the house for about five minutes, I finally gave up, and just snagged Rachel's 3 liter water bottle that was almost empty.
When I got to school, I was a little late, but only by a few minutes. No big deal, right? Well, as I was trying to find student parking near the SA building, I drove into what I thought was a student parking lot, but ended up being some kind of deisel hang out. Haha, I think it was a parking lot for people who come and fix things at the school, or something! So, I turned around, and finally found the student parking lot for the SA building, but I couldn't find a single parking space. Lame. So, I just thought to myself Screw it, I'm parking by the LA building, which happens to be on the complete opposite side of campus. By this time, I was about 15 minutes late for my English class. I ended up parking out in the boonies, by the testing center, because the parking lot was full. It took me about 15 minutes to walk to my class. So, at 9:30, I walked in half an hour late to class. But I sat right by this cute returned missionary who was really nice! His name was Clark. I think we'll be friends.
After English, I would usually have History, but my teacher emailed me and said that class was cancelled today because she was sick. So I was going to take that time to go buy my text books, but then I remembered that I left my wallet in the car! Which was about ten minutes away - walking time. I didn't have time, because my math class was about to start, so Ismael and I went to the book store and looked at the books I would buy tomorrow. Haha.
Math was actually really great. We went over the syllabus, pretty much. I like my teacher. I had him last semester, and he makes it really easy for me to understand the material, so I made an effort to have him again this semester.
After math, I left for work. It was great. Nothing exciting happened, but it wasn't bad.
I went to Ross today. Usually I don't like their clothes, but I found a really great selection today. I bought a dress, a sweater, a shirt and some cute summer-time flatts. All for under $30. Now that's a bargain.

So during Chirstmas break, I had an opportunity to get some things done in my Christmas break to-do list. Let's take a look.

1. Write back to these missionaries: Elder Parson, Elder Long and my brother. -I wrote back to my brother, and all the other missionaries that wrote me over the break, just not Elder Parson or Elder Long. I probably should...
2. Go to Las Vegas with my family and take pictures there.
3. Celebrate Christmas with my family.
4. Celebrate New Years (maybe with my family). -I ended up spending it with Emily, and it was a blast.
5. Take as many shifts as possible for work.
6. Buy textbooks for the spring semester of school. -Ugh...
7. Go shopping the day after Christmas and try not to get trampled. -The weather wasn't good, and I didn't want to die.
8. Catch up on my drumming. -No time! Sniff...
9. Go to Cameron's farewell.
10. Buy a new backpack. -I got one for Christmas!
11. Finish the book of Luke before Christmas. -I didn't finish it before Christmas, but I finished it last night! That's better than not finishing it.
12. Turn in my apartment application. -Move in date: August 21st.
13. Spend some time with Celeste when she comes up. -She wasn't feeling up to hanging out, because she got her wisdom teeth removed.
14. Talk to Daniel on the phone when he calls on Christmas day.

Okay, so I wasn't able to get everything done that I wanted to get done, but I was able to finish a few things! Now, I think I'll go find something to do to kill time.

boys & my institute teacher: two topics.

Topic number one: Boys.

I've liked boys ever since I can remember. When I was in Kindergarten, I had a crush on a boy named Brad Jackman. I've just been really into guys forever. It's not a bad thing... I had a boyfriend named Erik once. I think he's actually the only real boyfriend I've ever had. It was fun. But I made a few mistakes that I look back at now, and just laugh at, and think to myself, "Why was I so ignorant?"

My sister now has a boyfriend named Dylan. He's a cool guy; I like him. He treats her really well, and he fits right in with our family. I can't help but to say, "I told you so!" when I see her hugging him and (unfortunately) kissing him and not acting like herself around him. She's pretty good about being herself around him, but there are a few times when I want to say "Rach, just be yourself." But I did the exact same thing when I was with Erik, only 100 times worse. I couldn't eat in front of him, because I was too embarrassed. I don't even know why. I was shy I guess. I remember when he was over one night, and we were eating with my family, and I only ate a little tiny bit, and then when he left, I was shoving food into my mouth as fast as I could. I wouldn't act like myself around him. I hated it, but I couldn't help it.

Looking back at it now, I think I've finally figured out why. I think it was because I didn't feel good enough for him. I felt like everytime I tried to act like myself, he'd be really judgemental towards me, and it made me feel like he didn't like me for who I was. It felt like he liked me for who I wasn't. I think a huge part of that is that he cheated on me twice. That just tears your self esteem apart, believe me. Ever since, I've been trying to find myself and gain confidence in myself. I've been trying to find real friends, who will be there for me, and who will love me for me. It was hard, but now, I think I'm finally getting it.

Before Erik and I started dating, I never really sat down and made a list of rules I'd follow when I had a boyfriend. So when we started dating, there was no set limit on what we could or couldn't do. After we felt like things were getting a little out of hand, we both sat down with and made that list of rules. We had it all figured out. Within days of making the list, we broke most of the rules. I think our problem was that we didn't set the guidelines before we started dating, we set them in the middle of it. I guess it was kind of an attitude of "Well, we've done it all before, why can't we do it again?" I think, also, that the both of us didn't have the same standards. That was a huge difference.

Well, almost a year after we broke up, here I am, single. I haven't kissed anyone since April 15th of last year, and I am so proud of myself because of it. I'm saving my kisses for my husband. Now that I've been single for a while, I want to set some rules for myself to follow when I do have a boyfriend, just so that mistake won't happen again. So for all those boys out there who want to date me, you must abide by these. HA! :)

• Move slowly. The faster it starts, the faster it'll end.
• No making out. The For Strength of Youth pamphlet warns against it. (page 26, top paragraph)
• Kissing is okay, as long as it's three seconds or less.
• Be yourself around him.

My theory: One of the reasons God made you exactly how you are is so that your future spouse will fall in love with you.

Topic number two: My institute teacher.

My greatest appreciation goes out to my institute teacher last semester, Brother Soderberg. He is so full of the spirit, all the time, it just amazes me. He's a really soft-spoken man, with a spirit that just yells out to you. It never ceases to amaze me how Heavenly Father blesses us with the exact things we need, at the exact time we need them. This is one of those stories. Brother Soderberg made an effort to reach out to me. I noticed it from day one. It felt like he could see something in me. He could see that I was struggling with many things. Every morning he would come shake my hand, look me straight in the eye, and tell me that he was glad that I was there.

I remember one day, I felt like I looked horrible, and I just wanted to go home. The same day, while he was shaking my hand, he told me that I looked beautiful. He meant it; I know he did. I could see it in his eyes. I had a feeling that he wasn't talking about my outside appearance, though. I had a feeling that he could see a light in my eyes.

The lessons he taught were truly profound, and were, with no doubt in my mind, led by the spirit. I think the principal he taught that stood out to me the most, though, was exactly what I needed. He would pick out random people and ask "Can I ask you a question? I'm only asking you this because I know you know the answer." and they'd say yes, and he'd ask them questions like "Are you chosen?" "Are you elect?" "Are you a daughter/son of God?" Questions that got us thinking about who we are, and why were are who we are. This was so valuable to me because I really needed to figure out who I was. I needed to know I was elect, and chosen. Never before have a cried so much in one semester from feeling the spirit.

One day in institute, near the end of the semester, Veronica was finding people to volunteer for the devotional. I would always look down because I didn't want to do anything. I looked up right in time to see that everything had a name, except for the testimony, and then I saw Veronica walking over in my direction. I hurried and looked down, but then a voice came to my head that said "Megan, what are you doing? She's a returned missionary. She can feel the spirit, and it's telling her to ask you to bear your testimony" haha, and then I heard her say "Hey, would you like to bear your testimony?" I'm not one to say no, so I accepted, and my stomach tied itself in dozens of knots. "Heavenly Father," I prayed, "I'll do it, but just help me to know what to say, and help me not to make a fool of myself." It was my turn, so I walked up, and bore one of the most incredible testimonies I've ever born. My testimony was definately strengthened by it, and I know a few others were, too. I knew exactly what to say - the spirit was with me the whole time.

Brother Soderberg taught me how to love myself, by showing love. He taught me to trust the Lord. He gave me hope in returning to my Father in Heaven. He made it easy for me to recognize the spirit. He strengthened my testimony because he was willing the follow the promptings of the spirit. There is no doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father sent him to me for those reasons.

falling snow.

These tall city lights
They brighten up the sky
Even on the darkest nights
They open up my mind

They light up the falling snow
With nowhere to go

A year ago
We were so close
While the falling snow
Fell on my nose

The Christmas lights
Shone so bright
As I looked in your eyes
It felt like home

But there's nowhere to go
But the falling snow
Will lead me where to go
To a place just like home

Now it's the present day
I sometimes think of you always
On those cold, wintry days
When you held me close

And it seems to me
That this will always be
That we will always see
Through eyes from long ago

But I guess we'll never know
Exactly where to go
Sometimes it's very cold
From the falling snow

destination: park city.

So today, my dad decided to take us (my mom, me, rach and sara) all up to Park City for breakfast, to kick off the new year. When we got there, we headed into this kind of deli restaraunt and had us some breakfast. I had this little egg, ham and cheese sandwich, and it was tiny. When everyone else's meal came out, theirs were huge breakfast burritos with sides of fried potatoes. Jealousy took me over. My dad and mom ended up sharing theirs with me, which made me really happy, because it was delicious!

After breakfast, we headed outside to go walk around and look at the cute little shops. We only went into a few stores, like Roxy, Quick Silver and a cute one-of-a-kind boutique (i can't remember what it was called) that was pink all over, but very expensive. We came upon this fur shop, and what did we find? Well, I'll let you guess for yourself. One word: Sexy.

On our way in and out of shops, we discovered some animal statues! So, being the family that we are, we had to take some pictures with them!

While walking, I decided that when I'm married, I'm going to live in Park City for a year or two. It's just such a cute little town, and I love the fact that the houses and apartments are in walking distance of the shops. And, Park City has it's own little free trolley! I was so excited. Yep, I'm living there when I'm married.

Before leaving, I wanted to go take a few pictures of a tree that I saw on the way in. Yes, those are, in fact, shoes tied onto the branches of the tree. I love it.

When we got home, I was out. I hopped into my bed and took a three and a half hour nap. It was lovely.

let's hear those new years resolutions.

I really can't even believe 2008 is already over! What a great year. It was full of growing experiences and good times. But when one good year ends, another begins. We make changes and we make new years resolutions. I've got four.

1. Truly strive to be an example of Christ in all times, all things and all places.
2. Never ignore a prompting given by the Holy Ghost. (whether it be to serve someone who needs it, or to bear my testimony, or anything. i want the lord to be able to depend on me.)
3. Make an effort to say my prayers in the morning, as well as at night.
4. Try to serve atleast one person, atleast once a day, big or small.

I actually attended the "A Brand New Year" broadcast for the church a few months ago, and they encouraged us to set a goal that we would like to keep and accomplish in the year 2009, and the first two listed above are what I wrote down. I've really been focusing on saying my prayers in the morning lately, because it's a habit I don't have down yet, but I'd really like to make it part of my daily schedule, and so I added that in there. And the last one was a goal I set for myself while I was at EFY last summer. I've been trying really hard to keep it, but I sometimes slack off. But I really want to make a change.

Along with my resolutions, I also have a list of events I would like to do this year. They are as follows.

• Celebrate my 19th birthday.
• Start and finish my second semester of college.
• Work summer program at work. (full time hours)
• Start and finish my third semester of college.
• Move out with Celeste, Erica, Cassie and JoLee.
• Get my flirt on.
• Go to the airport to welcome home my brother.
• Go to Daniel's homecoming.
• Go to Kody's homecoming.
• Go on a double date with Kody, Daniel and a girl of his choosing.
• Make new friends at school.
• Become best friends with a guy who gets me.
• Keep my new years resolutions.
• Find something I struggle with and turn it into a strength.
• Be myself, and not be afraid of it.
• Bear my testimony atleast once in sacrament meeting.
• Go to a concert out of state with Emily. (maybe)
• Play a few shows with the one and only TeliFone Pole during summer break.
• Discover a few new bands.
• Gain a greater testimony.

As for the celebrating portion of tonight, it went pretty well. I ended up hanging out with my friend, Emily. From all the driving, dancing, singing, laughing, eating, guitar hero and banging pots and pans at midnight, it was, all in all, a great night and a wonderful way to bring in the new year. We got to play Farkel with her parents, Lucille, Uncle Vince and Zach. Uncle Vince cracked me up more that anyone. "This is a no farkel area!" Emily and I also ended up going to an institute dance, which, I have to admit, wasn't that hoppin'. But a handicapped young man got pretty fresh with her, and grabbed her hand, and wouldn't let go. That was the most action we got all night! When we left the dance, we went back to Emily's house, where we welcomed in the new year by banging a pot, and a popcorn tin, while running around her driveway, shouting "Happy New Year!" and "Oh my gosh!" and "It's 2009!" What a riot.

My firsts for the year 2009:

• First drink: Sparkling apple cider
• First food: Carmel popcorn
• First song listened to: "Beautiful Inside" by Sons of Provo
• First two-person dance party: Emily and me, located in Emily's basement
• First kiss: My mom :)

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009.